By: Jennifer Rook
It's early evening as darkness sets in and the November winds whip in from the North. The crisp fall air turns icy while comforting campfire smoke smells waft on the breeze as folks stoke up the fire in their homes. The nice weather of October is long gone, winter is right around the corner and folks start thinking about hibernation as a cozy alternative to having to go out into the chill air. Out come the cozy socks, sweatshirts, fleece vests and the ever increasingly popular invention that allows folks to stay warm while their arms are free; that ridiculous blanket with sleeves that not many people admit to owning; The Snuggie.
My nine year old daughter wants a Snuggie worse than anything. She sees the commercial and begs for the magical blanket with sleeves. I refuse to give in though. I'm sure we can make-do with, say, a bathrobe that you don't wear backwards, or a regular blanket or two, right? These are items that you'd find around the house anyway. They are also items that STAY in the home, because, let's admit it, hanging out in a robe isn't the most glamorous look around and you just shouldn't wear your bathrobe out in public and as far as I can tell, most folks understand this and have the decency to not even be seen wearing their bathrobe in their home, so I just do not understand the urge to wear a backwards robe in "cute and cuddly" zebra print.
Bathrobe=home attire; not a "go-out-in-public" outfit, and yet, there you see those people on the television commercial, cavorting about in public in the Snuggie. Do they KNOW how ridiculous they look high-fiving at the baseball game wearing those robes? Backwards, no less! You know, if Sunggie wanted to make it worth our while, they'd at least throw in a pointy wizard hat and a wand to complete the outfit. Then it could double as a Halloween costume as well. Freezing cold Uinta Basin Halloween Trick-Or-Treating would be a thing of the past with the super-cool Snuggie Wizard Costume Kit. (I can just picture the commercial now…)
The thing with The Snuggie is, they are quite warm and I know that if I were to buy a Snuggie for my daughter she'd surely fall in love with this warmth generating miracle blanket and its ease of use as she snacks on chips in front of the television without disturbing the blanket around her shoulders and then she'll want to take it places with us. She'll begin wearing it "just in the car" to keep warm, then she'll accidentally "forget" to take it off when we go into, say, a sporting event at the local high school. She'll end up looking like those fools on the commercial wearing their Snuggies in front of other people, cheering in the bleachers, high-fiving, and jumping around in oversize fleece dresses. The poor girl would never get a date if she wore that thing around "raising the roof" at the ball game.
Then, the next thing you know, she'd be wearing it to church, running to the bus in it with her backside exposed like a bad-fitting hospital gown, or hanging out at the movie theater with her boyfriend in his and hers matching leopard and camel print Snuggies. It has all the makings of a Fad Gone Terribly Wrong! It'll be a bad fashion nightmare trend that will never end, almost as bad as those saggy, baggy, butt-crack showing jeans! No good can come of this.
So, as the weather cools off considerably this month and our surroundings turn into a frozen wonderland again, folks will be throwing more wood on the fire on Friday nights, staying in and getting cozy. I'm sure they'll be pulling out blankets and hanging out with loved ones and plenty of you will be "raising the roof" together, high-fiving, and sipping hot cocoa, or reading The Edge Magazine while wearing your ultra-cool Snuggie. And I guess I'm ok with it, you do whatever you need to do to keep warm but I don't want to see you in your Snuggie. Keep 'em at home, kids…keep 'em at home.
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