Often times in life we come to a crossroads; sink or swim, live or die, victim or survivor. It's a time for each of us to make a choice. Stephanie Swain Jacobs, formerly of Vernal, was thrust up against the crossroads of life quite tragically and abruptly. The accidental death of her beautiful, 4 year old son, Wesley, was more than painful for Stephanie, but when it came time to choose to be a victim or a survivor, she chose to be a survivor.
Stephanie had always had a passion for working out, lifting weights and keeping herself physically fit, but she never knew this passion would ultimately save her soul. With some fitness titles under her belt now, and four and a half years after that horrific day, Stephanie has started a new chapter in her life and through her efforts at improved physical well being, she is not only helping herself heal, but she is helping others as well.
Stephanie's story begins on a beautiful spring day in 2006. She and her husband were working in the house and the yard as her 4 year old son, Wesley, played, running in and out of the house, back and forth from his scooter to the swing set and sandbox. The French doors to the back yard were open as Stephanie and her husband worked around the house. She had just finished repairing a piece of furniture when she saw Wes run into the house and back out again. Minutes later, as she walked out the French doors to check on him, Stephanie's world came crashing down around her. Wesley had suffered a tragic accident on the swing set. Her husband, a physician, acted quickly and administered CPR until the paramedics arrived.
The rest of the nightmare seemed to flash by quickly. "There was an ambulance ride," Stephanie remembers, "the doctor pronouncing time of death, police officers and news reporters to deal with, but the hardest part of the night was facing the unimaginable: saying good-bye to my son. I had to leave my angel boy in the arms of a stranger and go home empty handed. That is the hardest thing I've ever had to do."
The depression and darkness that followed the funeral were difficult as well, but when she began coming out of "the fog", Stephanie realized she needed to get a handle on life again. She had a 13-year-old daughter, Jade, who was suffering as well. Jade saw a grief counselor who suggested that Stephanie find an outlet for much of Jade's "hostility she felt at the sudden loss of her brother." As she was driving through a Salt Lake neighborhood one day, Stephanie noticed a sign that read, "Boxing is for Girls" so she went to check it out. She signed Jade and herself up for a few boxing sessions, not knowing the experience would help transform her grief into something positive. As she and Jade hit and kicked and worked out their emotions in that sweaty room, she realized this therapy wasn't just for Jade; it was for her as well. She also realized that "what is good for the body is also good for the soul." Finally, Stephanie let herself begin to heal.
Stephanie puts her feelings into perspective: "We are not born with or taught the skills to cope with tragedy," she told Simplyshredded.com in an interview earlier this year. "There are multiple choices that include over eating, alcohol and drugs. I was counseled by a wise person to embrace something that I was passionate about. I chose physical fitness. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of my son, but I had to make a decision as to whether I wanted to be a survivor or a victim."
As she began to heal, her body began to harden and muscles began to build. Within a year Stephanie was in better shape than she ever had been in her life. She entered a local fitness competition show on a whim, and she won. She began training with a coach and, later that same year, won the figure portion of the Miss Fitness America competition in the Tall division. (Stephanie stands 5'7" tall). She was also in the top 10 in the bikini category. She placed 2nd in the Miss Fitness Universe competition in June as well, competing in fitness and bikini, but for Stephanie the titles aren't why she is dedicated to staying in shape.
"There is so much more to it than just fitness and winning. It's not my identity. It's a fun hobby, the shows are fun and it's great to get out and meet other people who share my passion, but for me, I want to pass on the feeling of well being that staying in shape offers me. I have a network of women I work with who have also suffered personal tragedy, and this is my way of giving to them and helping them. I want to honor my son by living an inspired life. If I can give back, be an example and help someone else along the way, that is what does it for me."
Stephanie recently opened up her own gym, aptly named "Soul Fitness", inside her Salt Lake home. She has a home studio and offers weight training, competitive coaching and nutritional counseling. She has taught classes in Vernal as well. Her message to women interested in getting in shape is to find where the power lies. "Anybody can train. It's the emotion behind it that makes it successful. My motivation comes from my son," Steph says. "I feel the only way to honor Wes's legacy is to live life to its fullest and strive to give 100% of myself in all that I do. We have a saying on our refrigerator that says, "In the end everything will be OK. If it's not OK…then it's not the end." No one's life is a fairy tale, but the ups and downs are easier to take when you allow yourself the personal satisfaction of being in shape." (quoted from an interview with Stephanie on Simplyshredded.com)
Although Stephanie is still repairing her broken heart, her life is on a good track, her body is stronger, literally, than ever before, and, more importantly, her soul is healing, and she's taking her passion and turning it into not only a business but a lifesaver for other women as well. "It's more than just wanting to lose 5 lbs so you can fit into those jeans for the next party. It's about dedication to long- term goals for overall well being and getting there. It's about repairing the soul and making something positive out of life."
Stephanie's favorite quote sums it up well: "Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying 'I will try again tomorrow.'"
Stephanie had always had a passion for working out, lifting weights and keeping herself physically fit, but she never knew this passion would ultimately save her soul. With some fitness titles under her belt now, and four and a half years after that horrific day, Stephanie has started a new chapter in her life and through her efforts at improved physical well being, she is not only helping herself heal, but she is helping others as well.
Stephanie's story begins on a beautiful spring day in 2006. She and her husband were working in the house and the yard as her 4 year old son, Wesley, played, running in and out of the house, back and forth from his scooter to the swing set and sandbox. The French doors to the back yard were open as Stephanie and her husband worked around the house. She had just finished repairing a piece of furniture when she saw Wes run into the house and back out again. Minutes later, as she walked out the French doors to check on him, Stephanie's world came crashing down around her. Wesley had suffered a tragic accident on the swing set. Her husband, a physician, acted quickly and administered CPR until the paramedics arrived.
The rest of the nightmare seemed to flash by quickly. "There was an ambulance ride," Stephanie remembers, "the doctor pronouncing time of death, police officers and news reporters to deal with, but the hardest part of the night was facing the unimaginable: saying good-bye to my son. I had to leave my angel boy in the arms of a stranger and go home empty handed. That is the hardest thing I've ever had to do."
Stephanie puts her feelings into perspective: "We are not born with or taught the skills to cope with tragedy," she told Simplyshredded.com in an interview earlier this year. "There are multiple choices that include over eating, alcohol and drugs. I was counseled by a wise person to embrace something that I was passionate about. I chose physical fitness. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of my son, but I had to make a decision as to whether I wanted to be a survivor or a victim."
As she began to heal, her body began to harden and muscles began to build. Within a year Stephanie was in better shape than she ever had been in her life. She entered a local fitness competition show on a whim, and she won. She began training with a coach and, later that same year, won the figure portion of the Miss Fitness America competition in the Tall division. (Stephanie stands 5'7" tall). She was also in the top 10 in the bikini category. She placed 2nd in the Miss Fitness Universe competition in June as well, competing in fitness and bikini, but for Stephanie the titles aren't why she is dedicated to staying in shape.
Stephanie recently opened up her own gym, aptly named "Soul Fitness", inside her Salt Lake home. She has a home studio and offers weight training, competitive coaching and nutritional counseling. She has taught classes in Vernal as well. Her message to women interested in getting in shape is to find where the power lies. "Anybody can train. It's the emotion behind it that makes it successful. My motivation comes from my son," Steph says. "I feel the only way to honor Wes's legacy is to live life to its fullest and strive to give 100% of myself in all that I do. We have a saying on our refrigerator that says, "In the end everything will be OK. If it's not OK…then it's not the end." No one's life is a fairy tale, but the ups and downs are easier to take when you allow yourself the personal satisfaction of being in shape." (quoted from an interview with Stephanie on Simplyshredded.com)
Stephanie's favorite quote sums it up well: "Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying 'I will try again tomorrow.'"
Stephanie is married to John Jacobs of Salt Lake City and is the daughter of Joe and Teddie Evans of Vernal. She is also the mother of 18 year old Jade Martinsen of Salt Lake City and her angel in Heaven, Wesley Swain Cowan. She also has two bonus daughters, Alex, 21, and Caitlin, 19.
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